Hey, Baldie....aw shit!!

I started this blog because I succumbed to the pressure. I was forced into it. All my friends said "oh, so many funny and unusual things happen to you...you MUST blog about it". Murphy's Law dictated that the minute I start the blog...these things STOPPED happening to me. There, are you happy friends? I'm not as entertaining now am I?

Until yesterday....

I have a friend. I swear!! He's one of my oldest and dearest and baldest friends. He's been bald since high school. We call him baldie, sometimes we call him shiny. He rolls with it. I mean, it's not like he doesn't realize he's bald. Can't really stamp your feet and cry "how dare you??" when it's there right on top of your head. Or not there in this case. See, I feel like I can get away with calling him that because I know too much about him that I can leak to the press. It goes both ways, so I let him make fun of my many, many shortcomings. Speaking of short...did I mention he's short too? Picture Jason Alexander from Seinfeld, but not nearly as annoying. Or wealthy.

On to the story at hand. I went food shopping last night and as I walked across the parking lot to the store, there, about 6 cars away from me, was my dear friend Baldie. I mean, from the back, it was totally him. A vertically challenged man with a shiny globe framed by a slight crown of hair. I got all excited to not only see him, but have a possible shopping companion! And the bonus was, I had just seen his wife, Mrs. Baldie, that very morning at Dunkin Donuts. For 2 couples that live in the same city, we just don't see each other enough I tell you!

So Baldie's walking in front of me, and I, in my usual unfiltered way, yelled "HEY BALDIE!!!". The moment, I mean, the nano second the words left my mouth and before the speed of sound could even apply to the verbal diarrhea that exploded henceforth from it I realized...that's not him. Why I couldn't wait for visual confirmation that it was him is beyond me, and I think, one of my many charms. But that's neither here nor there.

I immediately looked for a way out, a car to hide behind, or a scape goat. "It was her!". But there was no getting away from it. The damage was done. The words were gone and traveling across space and time. And the guy wasn't deaf. Just my luck!

He turned, I turned...as if to pretend to look for the horrid individual that just yelled that who wasn't actually there...and my stomach sank. I turned back, smiled and said "You know, if you were who I thought you were, you'd think this was hysterical right about now!". The kindly bald man smiled and said "I've been called worse, and by people who actually know it's me". Gee, I'm sorry to hear that dude. We had a good hearty laugh and went about our merry ways. And I avoided eye contact with him whenever our paths crossed in the store.

Thank God for a good humored bald man! And Baldie, if you're reading this, we need to get together soon. I'll confirm it's you before greeting you though.

Pamcakes Glitterpants